Someone was telling me yesterday about how ancient and wonderful an art form nyotaimori (aka naked sushi) is. This may or may not exactly (wikipedia.org) be true, but it did get me looking online for more information. The practice has actually been outlawed in China (bbc.co.uk), but then the Chinese don’t allow snoring in the military or cooking children’s arms (mainichi-msn.co.jp) either. Communists.
Fortunately for the sophisticated misogynist, there are a few establishments Stateside that offer nyotaimori, most famously Gary Arabia’s (globalcuisinecatering.com) Global Cuisine (aolcityguide.com) in LA.
I spent a few minutes searching for local spots, and according to ClubZone.com, Café Japone (clubzone.com) in Dupont Circle does naked sushi Saturday nights. Hmm… why haven’t I heard about this before? I’m skeptical. If it is true, however, I may have to pay them a visit, being a fan of both sushi and naked women.
Thinking…I'm sure they have rules about not talking to the models, but really, where would a conversation with someone you were eating off go?
Me: So… Sushi… you a big sushi person?
Table: Well, not really.
Me: Ah. Well. Being a table, then. How's that working out for you?
Table: Not too bad. Pays the rent. I, uh, go home smelling like fish though.
Me: Oh.
…It could go on like that for a very long, awkward time.
Although I haven’t tried eating off a naked woman yet, I have on many occasions ea…… [Post interrupted by Poor Taste Alert®]
Sorry, but I’ll need notorized proof with signature from said victims of your cun… [Post interrupted by Poor Taste Alert]
I don’t understand how a blog about Badassery can have no posts for about a month, when it should have at least 100 features per day about things I’ve done in the last few minutes.
Nicely written. Little Steve, engaging in such acts. Tsk tsk. Where have all the flowers gone?